My Ex-husband use to say to me when I would be getting out of the shower, “We need to go on a diet”. He was 6″2′ and all of 155 lbs, so he may of well had just come out and said, “Denise I think your FAT!” I, at the time was 28-30 years old, a Polynesian Dancer, very active, 5′8′, 125 lbs, not a drop of cellulite or flab and wearing a size 3 and yet, “we needed to go on a diet”.
So in time I gave him that power over me and I too, believed we needed to diet. At one point I was taking 6-10 laxatives a night, Correctol was my choice for a late night snack. I weighed less than 115 lbs and size 2’s fell of of me. My family and friends were becoming quite fearful for my health, but my husband was happy, and in my mind he would never cheat on me again.
I have since ”loosely” joked that if I would have ended up in the hospital with anorexia, he would have been very supportive as he stood by my bedside pinching the I.V. saying, “not too much now”.
I had made a choice to give him and his beliefs a power over me and I choose to believe that his opinion mattered. I allowed myself to believe I was not good enough and by the grace of God, a great family and good friends it didn’t cost me my life.
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